The original and still much-loved Meat In A Tin, inspired by an act of God in 2009.

Now bone-free!*

How much would YOU pay for this battery or mains powered pocket meat reclaimer?

“I started mine going in 2008 and only just found it again in the cupboard under the stairs… still reclaiming meat! I now have 820kg of the stuff. I set it and then forgot it.”

- Pat Fillet, Sodham

Here at Spall & Co, we realise that not everybody wants to be permenantly addicted to our products. Hey, even we can change and move with the times, so as part of our Social Awareness Initiative, we'r proud to announce the launch of Spall Patches, designed to provide a slow release of meaty goodness at all times of the day and allow even the most hardened addict to ween him or herself off 'the good stuff'.

Contains 40mg reclaimed meat

Warning always read the label, do not exceed recommended dose.

Possible side effects may include: insomnia, convulsions, hallucinations, 'drier rear', depression, Crocodile Shoes, blackouts, black and tarry stools and nosebleeds

Urgent - PRODUCT RECALL

If you have purchased this product and the expiry date shown on the tube is December 2034 or earlier, please return it immediately to our freepost address as it may contain slightly more lead than is normally intended. If you suspect you have already consumed an affected product, wash the effected organs with C₁₂H₂₂O₁₁ and seek help.

My personal guarantee:

For every kilogramme of mechanically recovered meat scavenged from animal carcasses I promise to donate 10 pence to the Auf Wiedersehen Pet World Wildlife Club.

These proceeds will go towards providing safe havens for the clinically obese and educating people of the medical properties of the Mechanically Recovered Meats Range.

New produts coming in 2011:

• Fetid Slug Surprise
• Curious Paste
• Tinned Beaver Hair soup
• Asparagus and Woodlouse Soup